Braided Calzone Loaf

Dancing Queen was in the mood for pizza, but I was in the mood for something a little more fancy. I remembered the Pampered Chef braided chicken and broccoli loaf and thought a version with pizza filling would make both of us happy...at the same time. Miracles do happen.

Braided Calzone Loaf

8 oz turkey pepperoni, quartered
1/2 jar pizza sauce
1 15 oz can diced tomatoes with basil and oregano, drained
1/2 medium onion, diced
1/2 green bell pepper, diced
8 oz shredded Italian cheese OR Mozzarella
2 cans reduced fat refrigerated crescent roll dough
4 tbs light margarine, melted
1/2 tsp garlic powder

1. In medium mixing bowl stir together pizza sauce, tomatoes, pepperoni, onions, pepper, and cheese. Set aside.

2. Line large baking sheet with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray. Arrange crescent roll dough into large rectangle on cookie sheet, pressing diagonal seams together to seal and make into one large square of dough.

3. Using kitchen scissors, cut 2 1/2 inch long slits 1 to 1 1/2 inches apart down each side of rectangle, leaving a large uncut area in the center. Refer to diagram:



4. Spread filling in center of cut dough to within 1/2" of top and bottom. Fold the "slits" alternately over the filling -- top right, then top left, until all dough has been folded over filling. Pinch ends together to seal.

5. Mix melted margarine with garlic powder. Brush over top of calzone.

6. Bake at 375 for 30-35 minutes, until top of bread is golden brown and makes a hollow sound when tapped. Cut into slices to serve.

Spinach and Cheddar Dip

Little Buddy has an obsession with one of the oldest cartoons on the planet: Popeye the Sailor Man. She begs to watch it every single day and sits with the most enthralled, absorbed expression on her mischevious little face while the rest of us look on in agony. We've all been known to hide the Wii remote so she can't use the Netflix menu. As a result, she's also currently obsessed with spinach. For a week straight she has harrassed me to make this dip for dinner so she could be just like Popeye. No joke. She even asked me to get extra spinach so she could eat it plain, and then even pretended to like the plain spinach, too.

Good thing for all of us this dip is ridiculously good and no one has to pretend to enjoy it...

Spinach and Cheddar Dip

8 oz frozen chopped spinach, thawed
8 oz fat free cream cheese
2 cups fat free mayonnaise
1 packet onion soup mix
1 tsp garlic powder
1/8 tsp black pepper
8 oz shredded cheddar cheese
Assorted sliced bread or crackers

1. Soften cream cheese by microwaving on high for 30-45 seconds. Place in casserole dish and add mayonnaise. Stir until smooth.

2. Stir in onion soup mix, garlic powder, and pepper. Add spinach and cheese and stir.

3. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 or so minutes, stirring twice as cheese melts. until dip is slightly bubbly.

4. Allow to sit 10 minutes before spreading on bread or crackers.

VARIATION: To make spinach and artichoke dip, reduce spinach to 4 oz and add 4 oz of chopped artichoke hearts. Substitute shredded swiss cheese for cheddar.

Crockpot Roast Chicken

Whole fryers have been on sale at the local grocery store for 99 cents a pound. I can't pass that up. It also means the freezer is overloaded with Tom, Jane, and Phil (the kids name whole frozen chickens. I think it helps them to connect with the universe or something). Today, it was Tom's turn to go.

Unfortunately, the temperatures here have been...well...Hades-worthy. I really wanted to roast Tom without creating the 4th circle of hell in my kitchen. That's when I spotted my good friend La Crockpot, and I decided that the worst that could happen was that we ate Tom shredded on tortillas and pretended we wanted Mexican all along. It worked, my friends....it worked...

Crockpot Roast Chicken

5-7 lb whole fryer chicken
1/2 cup vinegar (white, red wine, apple cider)
1/2 cup water
1/2 tsp sage
1/8 tsp ground black pepper
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tsp paprika
1 medium onion, quartered and sliced
5 tbs of margarine, cut into 5 slices

1. Rinse and dry chicken. Make sure to remove neck and/or giblets from the cavity. Place him (or her) breast-side up in 8 quart crockpot.

2. Throw onions on top, and spoon minced garlic onto chicken. Sprinkle with sage, black pepper, and paprika. Arrange margarine slices on top of chicken. Pour vinegar and water on bottom of crockpot (but not onto chicken itself).

3. Cook on high 4 hours. If you prefer your chicken crispier, transfer chicken AND juices to roasting pan and bake at 350 20 or so minutes, basting with juices every 5 minutes to keep chicken moist.

That's it. I swear. Except that I use the juice/drippings to make my gravy (the vinegar taste cooks out -- it's there for tenderizing your meat).

Loaded Baked Potato Casserole

I don't have a cute story or warm memory to go with this one. It's just fun and tastes amazing. That is all.

Loaded Baked Potato Casserole

16 oz 2% milk velveeta, cubed
8oz fat free sour cream
3/4 c skim milk
6-7 slices bacon, crisp cooked and crumbled (or 1/4 c bacon bits, or Real Bacon in the pouch. No -- that is *not* cheating)
60 oz bag potato wedges or steak fries
2 tsp paprika
1/8 tsp ground black pepper
1/4 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 cups cooked ham, cubed (you can buy it pre-cooked, or get one of the 12 oz spiral sliced ham cuts and cook it at 350 for about 20 min)
1/2 c sliced green onions

1. In a medium sauce pan combine Velveeta, sour cream, milk, and bacon. Cook over low heat 15 or so minutes, stirring frequently, until fully melted and smooth. Keep warm in pan.

2. Meanwhile, spread 3/4 of the bag of potatoes in single layer on bottom of 15X9 baking dish. Put the rest away for another use. Sprinkle with paprika, garlic, black pepper, red pepper, and salt. Spray with cooking spray. Bake at 425 20 or so minutes, until thawed and just beginning to crisp.

3. Remove potatoes from oven. Pour cheese mixture evenly over top. Spread ham on top of cheese, and then sprinkle with green onions. Bake at 425 an additional 15-20 minutes, until cheese is slightly bubbly. Serve immediately.

Cinnamon Roll Swirl Bread

I absolutely love cinnamon rolls, but let's face it: outside of a refrigerated tube or just buying them from the bakery section in the grocery store, they're a PITA to make. Yes...I really just said that...

This quick bread is a great way to get cinnamon-roll flavor without spending forever trying to roll pastry dough!

Cinnamon Swirl Cake

1/2 c granulated sugar
1 tbs ground cinnamon
2 c all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 c granulated sugar
1 egg
1 cup buttermilk OR sour milk (Place 1 tbs vinegar in measuring cup and fill with milk to 1 c line; allow to stand 5 minutes before using)
1/4 c melted margarine OR vegetable oil
2/3 c powdered sugar
1 tsp milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1. In small bowl mix 1/2 c sugar and cinnamon. Set aside.

2. In large mixing bowl combine flour, baking powder, salt, and 1 c sugar. Make a well in center.

3. In a small mixing bowl beat together egg, buttermilk or sour milk, and margarine or oil. Add all at once to well in center of flour mixture. Stir just until combined.

4. Pour half of batter into greased 9 inch square pan. Pour half of cinnamon-sugar mixture over batter. Spread remaining batter carefully over top, and then add remaining cinnamon-sugar.

5 Swirl a butter knife through batter and cinnamon sugar.

6. Bake at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes, or until knife inserted near center comes out clean.

7. Mix powdered sugar, vanilla, and milk until smooth. Immediately pour over hot cinnamon swirl bread and allow to cool before serving.

Flag Cake

My mother began the tradition. Every 4th of July: BBQ, fireworks, and Flag Cake. This isn't the easiest cake you'll ever make, but it's worth it. I start making it a day ahead (I think you'll see why when you read the directions).

Flag Cake

1 box white cake mix
3 eggs (or number called for on boxes of cake mix)
Cooking oil (for cake mix)
Water (for cake mix)
1 box each 4 1/2 serving size red and blue jello (I prefer strawberry and berry blue)
2 cups boiling water
1 box, 4 serving size, instant vanilla pudding mix (fat free sugar free is just fine)
2 cups cold milk
1 8 oz tub cool whip (fat free is fine)
1 16 oz tub of cool whip (fat free is fine)
8 oz blueberries
1 pint strawberries
1 bag mini marshmallows

NOTE: I often do 2 separate white cakes instead of slicing one. This is entirely up to you. Of course that means having 2 boxes of cake mix and double the eggs, oil, and flour.

1. Prepare cake mix according to package directions. Bake in greased and floured 13 X 9 X 2 inch baking dish until knife inserted near center comes out clean. Allow to cool 10 minutes. Depan cake onto large baking sheet covered in aluminum foil (or whatever surface you plan to use to serve your cake from. Cover with aluminum foil or plastic wrap and chill at least 2 hours.

2. If you are using only one cake: Using large serrated knife slice cake horizontally through middle, making two equal layers. Take the end of a wooden spoon and poke holes in both cake layers about 1 inch apart. Do not poke all the way through (you'll want a smooth surface for frosting). First, prepare your red jello by mixing it with 1 cup of the boiling water for about 2 minutes, until fully dissolved. DO NOT ADD ANY COLD WATER. Use a turkey baster or spoon to pour the jello until each hole on one of the cake layers. Cover in foil or plastic wrap and place in refrigerator. Repeat with blue jello and second cake layer. Allow to chill at least 4 hours. BTW it doesn't matter which color goes on which layer ;). And I've gotten froggy some years and used BOTH colors by alternating them in the holes on the layers. Oooooh fancy I know :P.

3. Once the cake's chilled, make the filling: beat pudding mix and milk with wire whisk about 2 minutes, until pudding thickens. Allow to stand 5 minutes. Stir in 8 oz of cool whip and 1/2 cup each whole blueberries and diced strawberries (optional -- if your family's not wild about the fruit, leave it out). Spread on bottom cake layer. Top with second cake layer. Cover in foil or plastic wrap and allow to chill an additional 4 hours or more.

4. "Frost" cake with the 16 oz tub of cool whip (you might have some leftover -- that's fine. Use it to top your machiato while you finish decorating the cake). Now it's time to make this cake look like a flag! Create A "field of stars" in the upper left corner using whole blueberries. Thinly slice and halve stawberries and use them to create 7 "red stripes." Use the mini marshmallows to fill in your 6 "white stripes" OR skip the marshmallows all together and let the cool whip be your "white."

Serve cake immediately and refrigerate leftovers. If you're worried about the fruit browning, you can soak it in water and lemon juice for an hour before decorating the cake.